Like her Father Did (short Story)

It was a cold winter morning, which was highly unusual in the sunny small town of Capper Hill. To Maria’s surprise the weather matched her mood perfectly, today was not her day and she had no intention of hiding it. Her thoughts whizzed in a world of confusion in her brain, she had no better way of dealing with her parents’ divorce than just diving into the world of alcohol, drugs and partying. As she walked slowly to the bus stop her mind replayed the arguments she’d heard from inside her bedroom. How could her mom say it was  Maria’s fault? How could her dad just betray her mom’s trust by bedding another woman? They tried to play it off saying they just had differences and couldn’t live with each other anymore, but Maria knew the real truth, the truth they had been hiding for the last two years.

Everything started two days before her sixteenth birthday party. Her dad called to say he couldn’t make it, his business trip got extended for another three days, but he would make it up to her big time. Yeah, it was disappointing to hear but that meant one less embarrassing parent to deal with .She loved her parents dearly but sometimes they went a bit over the top when it came to childhood stories ; all would be well in three days and she’d get a nice gift to compensate . Her mom however, wasn’t taking it well, Maria remembered hearing her mom argue for the longest time, she just tried to block it out, and from that moment she picked up that something was not right. Over those last two years all the late nights at the office, extended business trips and freelance work were lies .Maria shook her head in disappointment she should have known sooner especially since their cost of living didn’t improve. Maybe her mom was right, maybe it was her fault, if she had caught it earlier she could have spoken to her dad and try to make him stop even if it meant doing it for the sake of their daughter. Instead Maria did what any teenage girl would do, she tried to forget about it and dive into other activities that would distract her not knowing that the problem was still brewing and eventually would boil over.

She was nothing compared to her mother, just younger. Her hair was midnight-black and it flowed over her shoulders, she had a shapely figure and a bubbly outlook on life .she didn’t have any kids ,I guess that’s why he liked her , there was less burden ;he could be his old self again . It’s funny how the missing piece to a puzzle can be right in front of you and you have no idea. No wonder she was so nice, Maria always got good grades in her class. She was her favorite teacher and Literature was her favorite subject .Now every time she took up a book it reminded her of the pain her parents went through.

November 4^th was the day they first met, it was Maria’s first parent teacher’s conference and she was so excited because she had all A’s in her class. Ms. Stewart was very pleasant towards Maria and her father, her mom was a nurse and because of that she couldn’t make it to night events .Like any parent and teacher, they exchanged words about grades, discipline and behavior .Maria wondered how she missed the part when they exchanged numbers, the part where they planned to meet up at different hotels and destinations, the parts where Maria was not the sole topic of discussion.

Ms. Stewart was beautiful, funny, great with kids and had a great smile .She seemed like she had it all together but deep down she was shallow. Shallow for what she did to Maria and her family. Being the child in all of this, Maria had realized the true meaning of betrayal .To throw away something that took seventeen years to build was just awful. It made being trust worthy a whole lot harder , she watched her father plant a kiss on her mother’s face every day before he left home and all her mother reaped from that was sorrow and heartbreak while someone  else harvested the fruit.

Then it happened. Maria was in class, doing a book report on her favorite Shakespeare play (Hamlet) , when her mom busted through the door .Time slowed down , she couldn’t remember what her mom was saying , all she remembered was seeing her mother scream and shout  as tears fell from her face .Her mom was screaming at the teacher. What could she have done that would cause her mother ; who was a quiet lady to become this brave that she would publicly humiliate herself and publicly embarrass Maria .After security escorted her out , everything changed for Maria. Staring had become something of an art form ,as the weeks went by she felt that all the stares had turned her transparent almost disappearing into  what seemed like an endless cycle of experiencing what was now her reality over and over again.

Then it hit her, that’s why her mom blamed her .Maria thought maybe if she was more vigilant she would have been able to pick up some of Ms. Stewarts actions towards her .All the times she was overly nice, asking if her mom helped her, if her mom was working late and other similar questions, they weren’t to be nice .Now it seemed as if it was a comparison to herself, maybe she was trying to say she would be a better mom figure. Even if none of this was true these were the questions that ran through her mind on a daily basis.

A loud horn caused Maria to lose her train of thought , the bus driver was signaling her to get on , she was holding up the bus .She took a seat on the usual third row and looked out the window . with everything that had happened in the last few months it made her make some bad choices, she didn’t mean for it to happen but when she realized she was ten days late, she took a pregnancy test to confirm her assumption, Maria was pregnant and ironically she was happy about that. She was going to have a bundle of joy that she would call her own , someone who would be oblivious to everything that has happened and would love her for her. She didn’t know what anyone would think and she didn’t care at all. One thing she knew for sure was that she wouldn’t bother try to reach out to the dad, she already knew what his response would be .He would say he needed to explore life and he wasn’t ready to be a father and unlike her mom she wasn’t going to make the same mistake, she would give him a free card to spare her the heart break and him the time and energy to sneak around and cheat, like her father did.

Hope you  enjoyed!

In the Lonely Hour…

Sixty minutes, three thousand  six hundred seconds and three million six hundred thousand milliseconds equal one hour.They say when having fun time flies by , things take a drastic turn when you aren’t huh?That one hour can seem like days.We may find this hard to admit but for many of us whenever we are lonely we tend to go back to things that mean us no good .Stuff that we left behind for a reason , suddenly become desirable.So for those few hours or days ,however long your lonely streak lasts for we find ourselves being comforted by people or things that were meant to be dished out a long time ago .Then when your life regains that flame you do either one of two things , you either forget about what you had been doing to consume your time or that old habit becomes an active part in your life again.Well whichever option you choose , your wrong.

Never go back to something you left for a reason , I know it may be hard at times but the mere fact that you let go of it meant that it wasn’t as valuable as you thought it was  .Hold up! many of us may argue and say If you love something let it go and if it comes back its yours forever yea I agree with that but the saying says you should let whatever it is come back to YOU you shouldn’t be the one seeking what you already left.Change is born from dissatisfaction.Growth is limitless , being alone and actually sitting with our thoughts can lead to realizations that are very rare in our everyday busy lives.

Embrace your lonely hour .Stop letting just anyone in for comfort ,allowing people  to be in our lives once more with hope that their intentions are pure .Don’t worry about why your not Facebook or Instagram famous , or why no one is reaching out to you.Just be you. DO NOT SETTLE.

Discovering our Blind Spots

One of the things that we forget more than ever about ourselves is that we are not PREFECT. Many will disagree and say “no of course I know I am not perfect ,I have flaws” ,so if that’s the case why do we fail to accept when someone points out our “flaws” other wise known as Blind Spots. A Blind Spot in this context refers to personal development ,features of ourselves that we are not fully aware of.This can cover a broad spectrum  of different things – our traits ,idiosyncrasies , values , habits , feelings etc. It is given this name for a reason , we simply cannot see them for ourselves however, people on the outside such as our close friends , family members and our significant other are most likely to see them and at some point will point them out to us.

Many times when we are addressed about our flaws we often make excuses for our behaviour , we might say we had an off day or we just weren’t in the mood and that’s why we acted that way. The mind wants comfort , and anytime we are confronted about something that does not fit into our comfort zone a red flag goes off and automatically we jump to reasons as to why it couldn’t be.You see, if we get complimented we are grateful and willing to accept . According to Norihio  Sadato , the study lead and professor at the National Institute for Physiological Sciences in Japan : “To the brain ‘ receiving  a compliment is as much a social reward as being rewarded money ” the study also went on to show that the same area of the  brain  was affected ,the Striatum, is activated when a person is rewarded a compliment or cash. Believe it or not it all has to do with our psychological build up  . Many persons believe that being  open  to correction makes them vulnerable or weak and so they are just  not willing to do that.

This is not the case , when you are oblivious to something there is a likelihood that you have never worked on it before , which leaves an opportunity for improvement and as individuals we should all be wiling to improve the way we are .You might not realize it , but your Blind Spots can be acting as an invisible boundary that limits your experience in life .When you uncover your blind spots and start working on them you start becoming more conscious as an individual , but first you need to know what they are so you can start working on them.

Uncovering our blind spots can lead to serious personal growth , when a person points out our flaws whether they say it in an angry tone or calmly address it , after the discussion is over you can do a self evaluation to find out if what was being said is true .It is important to ask about yourself , you will be surprised to hear what people think if you just take the time to listen and not assume that everything is fine .