OH VALENTINES…..

            Tis the season of love!…. well for some of us anyway. During this season we all are hoping that we don’t end up at the end of the spectrum where there are no reds and whites but instead just having to be reminded that you’re single for yet another year.Let me just say it’s not the end of the world and even though it is nice to be smoothered by your significant other, not having one shouldn’t make a difference because there are plenty of ways to show love, besides, your singleness doesn’t define you!.This will be my first year ever being someone’s Valentine, so I’m not really versed on how to prepare for Valentine’s day while being in a relationship ( had to do a lot of thinking and PINTEREST!) but don’t worry I’ll be sure to come back with tips for next year! But for all my single ones out there I have got 6 tips on how to make your day not so lonely.

1. Buy your best friend a Gift 

Your bestie can never have too much love, no matter if its a text or a small gift just give a little something so that she/he feels loved because they’ll be there before and after any relationship you have and through tough times.

    2.Compliment a Stranger

DO IT! a compliment can go a far way, studies actually show that when someone receives or gives a compliment it makes a person feel better  by impacting someone they don’t even know, and that random person, you give a compliment will in return give another person a compliment and that’s what creates  a chain reaction..cool right !and what better way to do it than during this season of love.

   3.Treat Yourself

Buy yourself that box of chocolate you’ve always wanted but were too busy watching your calories to get, just think of it that most people will be having a cheat day so technically its a national cheat day (for your calories ) so you’re actually not doing anything bad.

    4.God Loves You!

NO need to explain this, you should always be comforted by the fact that gods love is always with you and you don’t need a day like this to bring you down.

    5.Just act like its a regular day 

Not into the whole Valentines stuff ..no problem just go about your day as if its any other day, you’ll probably be causally hitting balloons out your way and you might even end up seeing a proposal or two but hey! it could happen on any day right.

6.Spread love to your family 

Let your family members know how much you appreciate them, no matter how annoying they are they’ll have your back no matter what so a little text or hug will go a long way.

well if nobody tells you I did ..….HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!<3

 

Like her Father Did (short Story)

It was a cold winter morning, which was highly unusual in the sunny small town of Capper Hill. To Maria’s surprise the weather matched her mood perfectly, today was not her day and she had no intention of hiding it. Her thoughts whizzed in a world of confusion in her brain, she had no better way of dealing with her parents’ divorce than just diving into the world of alcohol, drugs and partying. As she walked slowly to the bus stop her mind replayed the arguments she’d heard from inside her bedroom. How could her mom say it was  Maria’s fault? How could her dad just betray her mom’s trust by bedding another woman? They tried to play it off saying they just had differences and couldn’t live with each other anymore, but Maria knew the real truth, the truth they had been hiding for the last two years.

Everything started two days before her sixteenth birthday party. Her dad called to say he couldn’t make it, his business trip got extended for another three days, but he would make it up to her big time. Yeah, it was disappointing to hear but that meant one less embarrassing parent to deal with .She loved her parents dearly but sometimes they went a bit over the top when it came to childhood stories ; all would be well in three days and she’d get a nice gift to compensate . Her mom however, wasn’t taking it well, Maria remembered hearing her mom argue for the longest time, she just tried to block it out, and from that moment she picked up that something was not right. Over those last two years all the late nights at the office, extended business trips and freelance work were lies .Maria shook her head in disappointment she should have known sooner especially since their cost of living didn’t improve. Maybe her mom was right, maybe it was her fault, if she had caught it earlier she could have spoken to her dad and try to make him stop even if it meant doing it for the sake of their daughter. Instead Maria did what any teenage girl would do, she tried to forget about it and dive into other activities that would distract her not knowing that the problem was still brewing and eventually would boil over.

She was nothing compared to her mother, just younger. Her hair was midnight-black and it flowed over her shoulders, she had a shapely figure and a bubbly outlook on life .she didn’t have any kids ,I guess that’s why he liked her , there was less burden ;he could be his old self again . It’s funny how the missing piece to a puzzle can be right in front of you and you have no idea. No wonder she was so nice, Maria always got good grades in her class. She was her favorite teacher and Literature was her favorite subject .Now every time she took up a book it reminded her of the pain her parents went through.

November 4^th was the day they first met, it was Maria’s first parent teacher’s conference and she was so excited because she had all A’s in her class. Ms. Stewart was very pleasant towards Maria and her father, her mom was a nurse and because of that she couldn’t make it to night events .Like any parent and teacher, they exchanged words about grades, discipline and behavior .Maria wondered how she missed the part when they exchanged numbers, the part where they planned to meet up at different hotels and destinations, the parts where Maria was not the sole topic of discussion.

Ms. Stewart was beautiful, funny, great with kids and had a great smile .She seemed like she had it all together but deep down she was shallow. Shallow for what she did to Maria and her family. Being the child in all of this, Maria had realized the true meaning of betrayal .To throw away something that took seventeen years to build was just awful. It made being trust worthy a whole lot harder , she watched her father plant a kiss on her mother’s face every day before he left home and all her mother reaped from that was sorrow and heartbreak while someone  else harvested the fruit.

Then it happened. Maria was in class, doing a book report on her favorite Shakespeare play (Hamlet) , when her mom busted through the door .Time slowed down , she couldn’t remember what her mom was saying , all she remembered was seeing her mother scream and shout  as tears fell from her face .Her mom was screaming at the teacher. What could she have done that would cause her mother ; who was a quiet lady to become this brave that she would publicly humiliate herself and publicly embarrass Maria .After security escorted her out , everything changed for Maria. Staring had become something of an art form ,as the weeks went by she felt that all the stares had turned her transparent almost disappearing into  what seemed like an endless cycle of experiencing what was now her reality over and over again.

Then it hit her, that’s why her mom blamed her .Maria thought maybe if she was more vigilant she would have been able to pick up some of Ms. Stewarts actions towards her .All the times she was overly nice, asking if her mom helped her, if her mom was working late and other similar questions, they weren’t to be nice .Now it seemed as if it was a comparison to herself, maybe she was trying to say she would be a better mom figure. Even if none of this was true these were the questions that ran through her mind on a daily basis.

A loud horn caused Maria to lose her train of thought , the bus driver was signaling her to get on , she was holding up the bus .She took a seat on the usual third row and looked out the window . with everything that had happened in the last few months it made her make some bad choices, she didn’t mean for it to happen but when she realized she was ten days late, she took a pregnancy test to confirm her assumption, Maria was pregnant and ironically she was happy about that. She was going to have a bundle of joy that she would call her own , someone who would be oblivious to everything that has happened and would love her for her. She didn’t know what anyone would think and she didn’t care at all. One thing she knew for sure was that she wouldn’t bother try to reach out to the dad, she already knew what his response would be .He would say he needed to explore life and he wasn’t ready to be a father and unlike her mom she wasn’t going to make the same mistake, she would give him a free card to spare her the heart break and him the time and energy to sneak around and cheat, like her father did.

Hope you  enjoyed!

In the Lonely Hour…

Sixty minutes, three thousand  six hundred seconds and three million six hundred thousand milliseconds equal one hour.They say when having fun time flies by , things take a drastic turn when you aren’t huh?That one hour can seem like days.We may find this hard to admit but for many of us whenever we are lonely we tend to go back to things that mean us no good .Stuff that we left behind for a reason , suddenly become desirable.So for those few hours or days ,however long your lonely streak lasts for we find ourselves being comforted by people or things that were meant to be dished out a long time ago .Then when your life regains that flame you do either one of two things , you either forget about what you had been doing to consume your time or that old habit becomes an active part in your life again.Well whichever option you choose , your wrong.

Never go back to something you left for a reason , I know it may be hard at times but the mere fact that you let go of it meant that it wasn’t as valuable as you thought it was  .Hold up! many of us may argue and say If you love something let it go and if it comes back its yours forever yea I agree with that but the saying says you should let whatever it is come back to YOU you shouldn’t be the one seeking what you already left.Change is born from dissatisfaction.Growth is limitless , being alone and actually sitting with our thoughts can lead to realizations that are very rare in our everyday busy lives.

Embrace your lonely hour .Stop letting just anyone in for comfort ,allowing people  to be in our lives once more with hope that their intentions are pure .Don’t worry about why your not Facebook or Instagram famous , or why no one is reaching out to you.Just be you. DO NOT SETTLE.

Dont Rush Your Progress

For the past three weeks I have been going through writers block , it seemed like no matter what I did  I was not able to find any source of motivation to write.Yes, on many occasions there were lessons that I could have drawn from but throughout this period  nothing stayed , nothing captured my heart enough that I felt a need to blog about it and share with you guys . I remember sharing what was happening to me with my  close friend and her response was “it’s ok hun , dont rush the progress”.I took comfort to her words and went on doing my daily routine in hopes that my motivation would reappear.Then a week later,  like a gust of wind it hit me. DONT RUSH THE PROGRESS.

The skin from the snake cannot be ripped off , it will shed when it is ready .This same mentality should apply to us as humans and our individual progress.Often times we get frustrated about not being able to deliver or perform as we think we should ,for whatever reason our motivation disappears and we beat ourselves up because we aren’t performing as we think we should. I cannot speak on behalf of everyone when I say this but sometimes taking a step back is what we need in order to find yourself again. It is OK to take a break and look at yourself from the outside ,you’d be surprised how therapeutic self evaluation can be.

We live in a fast paced world ,a world where technology is trying to outsmart us. Do not get caught up in trying to make too many things happen at once.The moment you feel like you have to rush your way through is the moment you should stop and take a breather .It will come.It will happen and you will make it through.Have an attitude of a victor and not a victim.As I wrote in my Behind The Mask blog it is important to surround yourself with good people who can help you whenever you feel as if you’ve run of fuel. In life everything takes time .Growth happens everyday , we didn’t just wake up one day and turn into adults ,it took years of development, experience and our parents being patient with us.So with all that being said do not get discouraged when you bump into a road block but be patient enough to know that you ARE still progressing and anything that is growing should not be rushed.

Behind the mask..

                                                                     Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

 9 Two are  better than one : because they have a good reward for their labour . 10 For if they fall , then one will lift up his fellow :but woe to him that is alone when he falleth : for he hath not another to help him up .11 Again ,if two lie together then they have beat :but how can one be warm alone? 12 and if one prevail against him,two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

“How are you today?” “fine,thanks”.How many times have you given that reply knowing on the inside its a whole different story ?Putting on a brave face and refusing to off-load problems on to family and friends seem like the right thing to do.I recently started this study at school and asked approximately 50 students  why they felt the need to hide their emotions.The results show that many of them lie about how they feel because of fear of being labelled as weak or they are embarrassed.

 When did being not fine become a bad thing ? I am also guilty of this ,I often keep my problems to myself because I didn’t want to add burden on anyone or simply because saying that I was ok was so much easier than explaining my troubles .The truth is 80% of the time we aren’t fine and no I am not saying that we should speak our troubles to everyone who asks how we are doing,but it is important that we have people in our lives with whom we can feel comfortable to share our feelings with  without being worried that we are going to be judged or looked down  upon.

The  smile that you wear means nothing if your crying on the inside .Many people think that they can make it on their own and do everything by them self,.Do not retreat and close ranks ,to find security in a kind of fortress .Fight the desire to turn inward .It is OK to lean on someone for comfort  ,one that can help you through whatever it is that is bothering you . Isolation is a very dangerous thing  ,do not be its victim .“People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.”— Joseph F. Newton Men. Break down your walls and start building bridges with people who mean you good in life !