OH VALENTINES…..

            Tis the season of love!…. well for some of us anyway. During this season we all are hoping that we don’t end up at the end of the spectrum where there are no reds and whites but instead just having to be reminded that you’re single for yet another year.Let me just say it’s not the end of the world and even though it is nice to be smoothered by your significant other, not having one shouldn’t make a difference because there are plenty of ways to show love, besides, your singleness doesn’t define you!.This will be my first year ever being someone’s Valentine, so I’m not really versed on how to prepare for Valentine’s day while being in a relationship ( had to do a lot of thinking and PINTEREST!) but don’t worry I’ll be sure to come back with tips for next year! But for all my single ones out there I have got 6 tips on how to make your day not so lonely.

1. Buy your best friend a Gift 

Your bestie can never have too much love, no matter if its a text or a small gift just give a little something so that she/he feels loved because they’ll be there before and after any relationship you have and through tough times.

    2.Compliment a Stranger

DO IT! a compliment can go a far way, studies actually show that when someone receives or gives a compliment it makes a person feel better  by impacting someone they don’t even know, and that random person, you give a compliment will in return give another person a compliment and that’s what creates  a chain reaction..cool right !and what better way to do it than during this season of love.

   3.Treat Yourself

Buy yourself that box of chocolate you’ve always wanted but were too busy watching your calories to get, just think of it that most people will be having a cheat day so technically its a national cheat day (for your calories ) so you’re actually not doing anything bad.

    4.God Loves You!

NO need to explain this, you should always be comforted by the fact that gods love is always with you and you don’t need a day like this to bring you down.

    5.Just act like its a regular day 

Not into the whole Valentines stuff ..no problem just go about your day as if its any other day, you’ll probably be causally hitting balloons out your way and you might even end up seeing a proposal or two but hey! it could happen on any day right.

6.Spread love to your family 

Let your family members know how much you appreciate them, no matter how annoying they are they’ll have your back no matter what so a little text or hug will go a long way.

well if nobody tells you I did ..….HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!<3

 

In the Lonely Hour…

Sixty minutes, three thousand  six hundred seconds and three million six hundred thousand milliseconds equal one hour.They say when having fun time flies by , things take a drastic turn when you aren’t huh?That one hour can seem like days.We may find this hard to admit but for many of us whenever we are lonely we tend to go back to things that mean us no good .Stuff that we left behind for a reason , suddenly become desirable.So for those few hours or days ,however long your lonely streak lasts for we find ourselves being comforted by people or things that were meant to be dished out a long time ago .Then when your life regains that flame you do either one of two things , you either forget about what you had been doing to consume your time or that old habit becomes an active part in your life again.Well whichever option you choose , your wrong.

Never go back to something you left for a reason , I know it may be hard at times but the mere fact that you let go of it meant that it wasn’t as valuable as you thought it was  .Hold up! many of us may argue and say If you love something let it go and if it comes back its yours forever yea I agree with that but the saying says you should let whatever it is come back to YOU you shouldn’t be the one seeking what you already left.Change is born from dissatisfaction.Growth is limitless , being alone and actually sitting with our thoughts can lead to realizations that are very rare in our everyday busy lives.

Embrace your lonely hour .Stop letting just anyone in for comfort ,allowing people  to be in our lives once more with hope that their intentions are pure .Don’t worry about why your not Facebook or Instagram famous , or why no one is reaching out to you.Just be you. DO NOT SETTLE.

Dont Rush Your Progress

For the past three weeks I have been going through writers block , it seemed like no matter what I did  I was not able to find any source of motivation to write.Yes, on many occasions there were lessons that I could have drawn from but throughout this period  nothing stayed , nothing captured my heart enough that I felt a need to blog about it and share with you guys . I remember sharing what was happening to me with my  close friend and her response was “it’s ok hun , dont rush the progress”.I took comfort to her words and went on doing my daily routine in hopes that my motivation would reappear.Then a week later,  like a gust of wind it hit me. DONT RUSH THE PROGRESS.

The skin from the snake cannot be ripped off , it will shed when it is ready .This same mentality should apply to us as humans and our individual progress.Often times we get frustrated about not being able to deliver or perform as we think we should ,for whatever reason our motivation disappears and we beat ourselves up because we aren’t performing as we think we should. I cannot speak on behalf of everyone when I say this but sometimes taking a step back is what we need in order to find yourself again. It is OK to take a break and look at yourself from the outside ,you’d be surprised how therapeutic self evaluation can be.

We live in a fast paced world ,a world where technology is trying to outsmart us. Do not get caught up in trying to make too many things happen at once.The moment you feel like you have to rush your way through is the moment you should stop and take a breather .It will come.It will happen and you will make it through.Have an attitude of a victor and not a victim.As I wrote in my Behind The Mask blog it is important to surround yourself with good people who can help you whenever you feel as if you’ve run of fuel. In life everything takes time .Growth happens everyday , we didn’t just wake up one day and turn into adults ,it took years of development, experience and our parents being patient with us.So with all that being said do not get discouraged when you bump into a road block but be patient enough to know that you ARE still progressing and anything that is growing should not be rushed.

Discovering our Blind Spots

One of the things that we forget more than ever about ourselves is that we are not PREFECT. Many will disagree and say “no of course I know I am not perfect ,I have flaws” ,so if that’s the case why do we fail to accept when someone points out our “flaws” other wise known as Blind Spots. A Blind Spot in this context refers to personal development ,features of ourselves that we are not fully aware of.This can cover a broad spectrum  of different things – our traits ,idiosyncrasies , values , habits , feelings etc. It is given this name for a reason , we simply cannot see them for ourselves however, people on the outside such as our close friends , family members and our significant other are most likely to see them and at some point will point them out to us.

Many times when we are addressed about our flaws we often make excuses for our behaviour , we might say we had an off day or we just weren’t in the mood and that’s why we acted that way. The mind wants comfort , and anytime we are confronted about something that does not fit into our comfort zone a red flag goes off and automatically we jump to reasons as to why it couldn’t be.You see, if we get complimented we are grateful and willing to accept . According to Norihio  Sadato , the study lead and professor at the National Institute for Physiological Sciences in Japan : “To the brain ‘ receiving  a compliment is as much a social reward as being rewarded money ” the study also went on to show that the same area of the  brain  was affected ,the Striatum, is activated when a person is rewarded a compliment or cash. Believe it or not it all has to do with our psychological build up  . Many persons believe that being  open  to correction makes them vulnerable or weak and so they are just  not willing to do that.

This is not the case , when you are oblivious to something there is a likelihood that you have never worked on it before , which leaves an opportunity for improvement and as individuals we should all be wiling to improve the way we are .You might not realize it , but your Blind Spots can be acting as an invisible boundary that limits your experience in life .When you uncover your blind spots and start working on them you start becoming more conscious as an individual , but first you need to know what they are so you can start working on them.

Uncovering our blind spots can lead to serious personal growth , when a person points out our flaws whether they say it in an angry tone or calmly address it , after the discussion is over you can do a self evaluation to find out if what was being said is true .It is important to ask about yourself , you will be surprised to hear what people think if you just take the time to listen and not assume that everything is fine .

Dare to dream BIG?

Admit it , we have all laid around at least once a week and pictured ourselves doing something out of the ordinary ,whether it be escaping from school work and just going to hang out with friends or taking that magical vacation we’ve  always wanted.It is often said that our dreams define us,not the ones that we have no control over ,but the ones that we go back to every time we need to get away;our safe zone.My question then is …How do you act on the dreams you have ?

A dream in this context means aspiration,but what we aspire to means nothing if not worked for.You cant just want something,you have to go out and get it. Why sit around and dream about what could be when the world is waiting for you to take it .Take you dreams and turn them in to realities through handwork,dedication,diligence  and zeal.Yes,those days laying around and relaxing are the ones that look most appealing ,let those days be well deserved ,rewarded to you because of how much work you have out in to making your life a success

Patience

Rome wasn’t built in a day ,strive for progress knowing that it wont be perfect.It takes time to craft and mold your success ,remember everything you do,not matter how small  is an addition to the person you will become in the long run.Be patient .Work on yourself.Watch it all unravel before you .

Obstacles

In life there will be many ups and downs.You may even feel as though your set off course for good ,never forget that the road to success is never easy and in life you will face many challenges .What you do when you stumble is what makes all the difference Willie Jolley once said “Aset back is nothing but a set up for a comeback”.When life knocks you down brush yourself off and get back up .In your journey you are not alone ,your prize is waiting for you at the finish line so hold your head high, keep the faith and DREAM BIG!

 

 

photo from:http://aristocratsempire.blogspot.com/2011/01/weekends.html